- "By the way, all of the jokes here tonight are brought to you by our friends at Goldman Sachs. So you don't have to worry, they make money whether you laugh or not . . ." (President Obama)
- "Why are government employees filing a civil suit against Goldman Sachs? That's just going to be embarrassing in a few years when they all go back to work at Goldman Sachs." (Stephen Colbert)
- Goldman Sachs Top Ten Excuses (from David Letterman)
- "$8.7 billion of our money has gone missing in Iraq! I didn't even know they had a Goldman Sachs over there." (Jay Leno)
- "While testifying before Congress yesterday, BP CEO Tony Hayward called the oil spill a 'complex accident caused by an unprecedented combination of failures.' Then he realized he was reading notes left on the stand by a Goldman Sachs executive." (Jimmy Fallon)
- Upon hearing that Goldman Sachs was handing out $16 billion in bonuses, after the $5.4 billion in bonuses from January, "That was January... It's only April... Was this their daylight savings time bonus? Groundhog didn't see its shadow bonus. Do you give that bonus to the bonus in January so the other bonuses don't get lonely?" (Jon Stewart)
- After the SEC announced the Goldman investigation, the popular joke, "A man is only as faithful as his options" (Chris Rock)
Joking aside, if I had only one takeaway from the whole financial meltdown, it is that large investment banks, like Goldman, will not only survive, but also thrive in years to come, not because it is "too big" per se, but more importantly because its clients are no less greedy than its operators.